He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
