Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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