Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Barsexuality is the new black.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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