Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
