Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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