At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
