My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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