Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
