There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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