Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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