If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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