so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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