Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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