So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
