ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
