sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
