can we get nightvision for the apartment?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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