Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
