1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
