hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
