She is in my trunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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