Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
