I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
