It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
