The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
