I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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