In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
