My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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