somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
