Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
