ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
