I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
