it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
