he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
