Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
