That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
