I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
