you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
