ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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