kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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