they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
