Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
