Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
