the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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