We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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