Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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