I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
