Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
kristin has been a bad kristin
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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