this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
