fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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