Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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